You work out of a Hotel?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
