big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
