I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
