im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
