I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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