In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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