I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
