He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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