Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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