went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
