This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
