I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
