You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
don't judge my taste in strippers
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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