Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
