You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
