after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how drunk are you?
Several
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
