But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
