Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
