I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He? As in you personified your dick?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
