I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
