White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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