She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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