and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
