Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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