let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
