So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
