Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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