I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
