just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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