She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
