i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
