Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently you make a good broom.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pants are for mortals
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