I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
