How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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