At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh god it's open bar.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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