Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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