There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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