To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
