i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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