Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
