so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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