hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
