The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
