I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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