Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
