there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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