Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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