If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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