shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
