and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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